When deciding what the theme would be on this parody of the conference call, I was a little unsure how I was going to do it. Then I thought 'hey! I could use a bunch of Africa-type animals to represent different people.' I am going to write it in the form of a script. For those who weren't in the call, there will probably be a lot of things that you don't get. For those who made it into the call, this should be interesting.

*The scene opens with a Giraffe walking into a group of animals gathered around a water hole. Currently in attendance are a lion, a rather jittery monkey, a gazelle and a parrot.*

Giraffe: Um... hi. I'm a Giraffe.

Lion: Ah, you made it. I was just getting everyone to introduce themselves. Why don't you tell us a little about yourself?

Giraffe: Well, I like to eat leaves and I'm really tall…

Lion: Fascinating. Why don't we move on then? How about you, Ms. Parrot?

Parrot: I don't like to go by parrot, just so you know. I'd rather everyone call me Kawkaw.

Lion: Why's that?

Kawkaw: It makes me feel unique and special.

Gazelle: Could I point out that…

Lion: Alright. Moving right along. How about you, my tree-dwelling friend?

Monkey: Well, I like to ask a lot of questions. I like bananas and I'm going to school this summer for a degree in bananology.

Lion: Good to know. Now that we've all introduced ourselves, I thought I should lay out the rules.

Gazelle: I didn't get to introdu…

Lion: You all need to understand that since I'm the king of the jungle, I decide how things are done here. I talk when I want to talk. If I ask you a question, I expect an answer. I'll have no talking out of turn or eating…

*Everyone stares at Giraffe who is nibbling at the leaves of a nearby tree.*

Lion: Ahem!

Giraffe: Oh, sorry. I missed breakfast to make this conference.

Gazelle: You should always leave time for breakfa…

Lion: You can worry about food afterward. I think it's time we start asking some questions about our imminent journey to the plains.

Monkey: Me meeee! I have a question!

Kawkaw: You've been holding that in for a while, haven't you?

Lion: Kawkaw, shhh! Monkey is talking.

Kawkaw: I would rather you not call me Kawkaw anymore. I've decided I want to be called Millinder. I think it suits me more.

Monkey: Yes, yes. My question is about the ticks. Are there going to be different types of ticks on the plains? I might get sick and die with the wrong type of tick. Can I eat something to drive them away?

Lion: Yes. You can drink snake venom. It will drive them away quite well.

Gazelle: I have a qu…

Lion: You have to make sure to take the venom in small amounts. The worst that could happen is your tongue could go numb.

Giraffe: I don't see how that's the worst thing that could happen…

Millinder: That's not a nice thing to say!

Giraffe: I wasn't talking to you, Millinder.

Millinder: Don't call me Millinder anymore. I want you to call me Coco instead. Very suiting, don't you think?

*At this point, a sloth slowly makes its way into the circle.*

Sloth: Um… hi. *yawns* It's too early to be getting up for a conference. What did I miss?

Lion: We were discussing drinking deadly venom. Could you introduce yourself?

Sloth: I'm a sloth and I'm soooo tired. I operate on different hours than all of you.

Coco: Hi. I'm Tulip!

Monkey: I thought you were Coco.

Tulip: I changed my name again.

Lion: Good to know. The reason I set the conference for this time was just to inconvenience everyone.

Gazelle: That's not very ni…

Lion: Showing up for a conference despite inconvenience speaks of dedication. We're going to need that.

*At this point, everyone is interrupted by barking.*

Giraffe: Hey, who's got the dogs making all the noise?

Monkey: Oh, sorry. I brought them along but I thought they would sleep through it.

Gazelle: Um, sloth went back to slee…

Lion: Does anyone have more questions before I end the conference?

Tulip: Am I allowed to bring my stash of nuts?

Lion: You can bring them but there's a limit. If you're going to be flying, you can only carry so much. I don't think the rest of us want to be carrying your food, Tulip.

Tulip: I'd rather you call me Rudy.

Gazelle: I have a qu…

Lion: Well, I'm out of time so I'll let you all go on your way. Does anyone have anything else to say.

Giraffe: Um, nice to meat everyone.

Lion: Well, that's it then. Goodbye everyone.

*Everyone walks away, leaving sloth asleep by the waters edge.*

Well, I hope you all enjoyed that. If you're on the Africa team and you didn't understand any of the jokes that were supposed to be funny, that's more incentive to make it next time. Good day to you all!

Sloth: *wakes up* Where'd everyone go?